Pride Month is a time to reflect on the history of the LGBTQ+ community, a term we use to include a wide and diverse range of individuals, including those who are non-binary and gender non-conforming. Apart from all the celebrations happening this June all around the world, it’s very important not to forget the specific needs of the community and to consider addressing them for building a better future.
Pride gatherings are rooted in the arduous history of minority groups who have struggled for decades to overcome prejudice and be accepted for who they are. The original organizers chose this month to pay homage to the Stonewall uprising in June 1969 in New York City, which helped spark the modern gay rights movement. Most Pride events take place each year in June, although some cities hold their celebrations at other times of the year.
Who celebrates it?
Pride events welcome anyone who feels like their sexual identity falls outside the mainstream, although many straight people join in, too. LGBTQ is an acronym meaning lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer.
The term sometimes is extended to LGBTQIA, to include intersex and asexual groups. Queer is an umbrella term for non-straight people; intersex refers to those whose sex is not clearly defined because of genetic, hormonal or biological differences; and asexual describes those who don’t experience sexual attraction. These terms may also include gender-fluid people, or those whose gender identity shifts over time or depending on the situation.
How did it start?
In the early hours of June 28, 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York’s Greenwich Village, and began hauling customers outside. Tensions quickly escalated as patrons resisted arrest and a growing crowd of bystanders threw bottles and coins at the officers. New York’s gay community, fed up after years of harassment by authorities, broke out in neighbourhood riots that went on for three days.
The uprising became a catalyst for an emerging gay rights movement as organizations such as the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance were formed, modelled after the civil rights movement and the women’s rights movement. Members held protests, met with political leaders and interrupted public meetings to hold those leaders accountable. A year after the Stonewall riots, the nation’s first Gay Pride marches were held.
The criminalization of sex work and the LGBTQ+
The LGBTQ+ community still faces many challenges, including their disproportionate likelihood to face violence, harassment, and abuse. Here are the facts:
- Members of the LGBTQ+ community often face hate crimes, and sexual assault was one of the most commonly reported hate crimes by LGBTQ+ individuals, according to studies collected by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.
- Almost half of all transgender people have been sexually assaulted at some point in their lives, and these rates are even higher for trans people of color and those who have done sex work, been homeless, or have (or had) a disability.
- Black trans women in particular face violence at disproportionate rates due to intersecting racial prejudice, sexism, and transphobia, according to the Harvard Civil Rights – Civil Liberties Law Review.
Sex workers aren’t always a part of the conversation about police brutality, but they should be. Police regularly target, harass, and assault sex workers or people they think are sex workers, such as trans women of colour. The police usually get away with the abuse because sex workers fear being arrested if they report. If we lived in a world that didn’t criminalize sex work, sex workers could better protect themselves and seek justice when they are harmed.
Protecting sex workers from police violence is just one of the reasons we need to decriminalize sex work. It would also help sex workers access health care, lower the risk of violence from clients, reduce mass incarceration, and advance equality in the LGBTQ community, especially for trans women of colour, who are often profiled and harassed whether or not we are actually sex workers. In 2020 the call for decriminalization has made progress, but there are still widespread misconceptions about sex work and sex workers that are holding us back. Some even think that decriminalization would harm sex workers.
Sex workers deserve the same legal protections as any other people. They should be able to maintain their livelihood without fear of violence or arrest, and with access to health care to protect themselves. We can bring sex workers out of the dangerous margins and into the light where people are protected and not targeted by the law.
Internet technologies have also enhanced sex workers’ safety by shifting work indoors and providing them with tools to screen their clients through background checks and consultations with other sex workers. Of course, internet technologies are not accessible to everyone and they also come with risks. Internet access is costly, and thus affluent sex workers are more able to access and benefit from online technologies than their less affluent peers. Alongside and linked to class disadvantages, there is growing evidence of racial stratification in online sex work, as those with white bodies are often more privileged and profitable, particularly in emerging sub-sectors of the industry like webcam modelling.
Arab nations go rainbow hunting
This June, several Arab nations launch campaigns specifically seeking to find and quash any support for the LGBTQ community. Lebanon was the latest nation to join the crackdown, with Interior Minister Bassam Mawlawi issuing a letter a week ago to Lebanese security forces ordering them to break up any events that “promote” homosexuality.
Kuwait’s Ministry of Commerce and Industry put out the message on social media last week that citizens should inform the government about any products adorned with a rainbow flag, so that officials could remove the offending products.
To avoid confusion, the ministry issued a guideline to differentiate between a “normal rainbow” and the LGBTQ rainbow. The “normal” rainbow has seven colors, it said, while the one that “violates public morals” has six colors, it said in its post, which carried a “participate in censorship” hashtag.
Saudi Arabian officials launched a nearly identical campaign earlier in June.
The Ministry of Commerce posted a video (below) on social media showing officials seizing rainbow-colored products, including toys, handbags and accessories, which they said carried “symbols and connotations that encourage homosexuality and contradict nature.”
The International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association’s 2020 report on “State Sponsored Homophobia” around the world noted that Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Lebanon were among 69 nations that have laws banning homosexual acts.
Saudi Arabia, the report noted, was among six United Nations member states where “the death penalty is the legally prescribed punishment for consensual same-sex sexual acts.”
Helem (Arabic for Dream), an NGO that works in support of LGBTQ people across North Africa and Southwest Asia, said in a statement that it was “perplexing why, in a country whose citizens have no electricity, no medication, no access to clean water, and no social security, and 30% unemployment the minister thought to prioritize LGBTQ events as the biggest threat to national security.”
“The deliberate act of inciting moral sexual panic and targeting LGBTQ individuals is a very old, superficial, and commonly used tactic by failed regimes to draw attention away from economic and political disasters,” the organization said.
Avoid BURNOUT before you’re already BURNED OUT!
Tips for Webcam Models
Burnout is a mix of emotional and physical exhaustion, a lack of self-worth and a feeling of being ineffective. It takes healing in all three areas to overcome all these emotions.
Camming is not an easy job and we all know this. Having to deal with beggars, scammers, and all-around awful people while still being entertaining and enticing to the people who do support you on cam is no easy task. Camming falls under the umbrella of helping jobs, where you expand a lot of your emotional energy toward your “clients” and often do not get much back.
Therefore, burnout is so common in the camming field. You’ll see girls taking multiple days off from cam, and months even, because they’ve overextended themselves for the sake of their viewers and have neglected to take good care of themselves physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Consider these tips if you’ve found yourself working harder than usual lately.
- Watch for warning signs
Burnout means different things to different people. Most of us recognize our own triggers and can ignore them. Relying on take-out too often? Perhaps you could leave the office a bit earlier each day. Irritable with friends? Maybe the root cause is an issue at work. Watching for reactions that are misaligned to the current situation is a clue that burnout may be just around the corner.
- Prioritizing your time and setting boundaries
You need to have realistic expectations of yourself and set firm boundaries about what you will and won’t do, how often you’ll be on cam, and how available you’ll be OFF cam. I find that the off-cam presence is often the hardest one to be firm on, because you might feel that if you don’t give your members enough attention between camming sessions, they will forget about you and move on. While it may be true for some members, most will be understanding of you needing your private time outside of cam to recharge and do your own things instead of constantly doing Twitter status updates and tweeting sexy pics. You need to have a solid understanding of how much connection outside of cam is ok for YOU and to stick with it. Boundaries are so crucial to have, and I guarantee that you will have a greater peace of mind when your personal boundaries are not crossed by members.
However much you love your job, it’s essential to take good care of your body. Remember it is the reason you’re earning. You should take some time off from the schedule and spend time doing something you love. It would be best to treat yourself by going out and having fun or sleeping to help relax your body and mind. Ensure to have a day off per week, spend time relaxing, watch movies, go shopping, eat or do something you love.
We can say that one of the most effective means to prevent burnout is to use whatever vacation or leave time you are presented with. Take a vacation and drop off the grid regularly. Turn off email and mobile notifications, and focus on enjoying time off. Every time we’ve done this, we’ve found that our stress levels stay low, and we’re refreshed.
- Have a good relationship with family and friends
Camming consumes time since you need to perfect the act. Whether you’re offline, you need to prepare for the next sessions or do make-up and more. However, it’s proper to create a balance between work and social life. Camming should not change your personality, it’s a career, and you don’t have to cut off family or friends. You can lead everyday life, spend time with family, discuss home issues and have fun together.
- Take your mental health seriously.
Mental health and wellness are critical factors in many aspects of life. Every cam girl should respect their mind. Don’t strain or depress over certain things you feel you cannot handle in life. You can take therapies, talk to friends, and subscribe to forums that help you connect to your inner being.
Can you enjoy sex without orgasm and have fun without the hot finale?
The experience that orgasm comes when it wants (or not) is familiar to most women. That’s why here comes a plea for enjoyment instead of pressure to perform. This is better for you and love – and now it even has a name: Karezza (also known as Coitus reservatus).
However, this does mean above all that you don’t need the ejaculation of the man to have good sex. But even women don’t have to put themselves under the pressure to come either.
The two partners practically always come. Annoying, but normal, research confirms: Women come in a relationship about 80 percent of the time, singles about 70 percent, according to a study by the University of Indiana. This discrepancy is then called the “orgasm gap”.
Why do women often not have an orgasm?
There are many possible reasons for a lack of climax. One of the most important: Lack of stimulation. For many women, sex is the sub-optimal pathway to orgasm because the clitoris is not sufficiently stimulated.
But over-stimulation in the central nervous system can also be to blame: stress and distraction cause more trouble for women than men.
The male brain is designed to ward off all distractions – the female one not so much. Perhaps because only the orgasm of the man is necessary for reproduction?
What other reasons are there for orgasm problems?
Of course, the form of the day also plays a role. In addition, medications such as antidepressants, anxiety, neurological problems can also hinder the pleasure high.
Even the social claim that you also have to function in bed can be stressful: “Many feel stressed by the pressure of having to come,” says sexual physician Dr. Elia Bragagna from Vienna. “But achieving an orgasm and having to make an effort for it doesn’t fit together.”
According to Bragagna, 76 percent of women are happy in love and life, even if they don’t always experience a climax. Orgasm is a possibility, not a duty.
Of course, sometimes the man needs a helping hand too – so why not read our article about sex tips for men for some great ideas.
Can sex be better without an orgasm?
Simple answer: Yes, it can. And that’s when you’re more likely to get involved in the sex itself and not work too hard towards a goal. This also means: Don’t just consider “the one” as sex.
Many couples equate sex with penetration. With the result that everything else is degraded to “foreplay” before it goes on to the “real thing”.
For many women, manual and oral sex is the best way to the most intense arousal. “Men should accept that women are the expert for their lust.”
In addition, you should learn to appreciate the pleasure of each other in its entirety. Sex has intense moments even without orgasm, “such as the pleasure of intense closeness, the feeling of feeling the partner inside you, the fun of being birded, or the shudder when you look into each other’s eyes.”
That’s why it’s like on Instagram: Don’t miss the most wonderful moments while you make an effort to stage them perfectly!
Camming on your period
There is a very big concern between the cam models when it comes to those days of the month since almost all the cam sites are literally banning showing it on camera. And who can blame them, when we as women are not so eager to show it to the planet. But still, there are some members out there who would really enjoy seeing you at that time of the month showing your liquid.
Leaving that aside, there are some hacks you can use so you won’t lose a few days of work every month. Loads of cam models all over the world who have already been put in this situation are giving you their best advice on certain forums, and also you can find information on youtube.
During our research, we found 3 safe methods to fake periods while camming. All of them work perfectly if you follow the rules.
The first of them is the tampon method. What you need to do is to introduce the tampon as high as you can, and cut the string so it won’t be seen on the camera. But be careful to not push it too far away and get it stuck. In this case, you should probably not use any toys while using the tampons.
The second technique the cam models use is the menstrual cup. They come in different textures and colors. The thing is that the first day can be really painful, and some of us can experience pain even on the second day of our period, so what do you do then?
In this case, you probably need one or two days off to recover, then you come back fresh with no pain.
When in doubt — go for long-term contraception
If you’re in the camming world for real and want to succeed, then your best option is to talk to your gynecologist and get long-term contraception. This should help you stop your flow and let you continue camming without losing any loyal clients.
Do know, however, that you’re playing with nature here. Women are supposed to have periods, so stopping them is essentially unnatural. Therefore, tread carefully and always follow your doctor’s instructions and advice.
Yes, periods are messy and weird — there isn’t a single woman out there that actually likes getting a period. They can cause you a lot of pain, and if you’re a cam girl — a serious budget cut.
Your customers, no matter how loyal they may seem, might not understand why you suddenly cannot make all their vagina-related wishes come true. In fact, they might not be patient enough to wait it out, even though it’s just four or five days.
Yet, there’s no need to despair, as there are various things you can do when you’re surfing the crimson tide. Get your creative juices flowing by thinking of new show ideas, or opt for one of many period tools ladies rely on when they want to control their flow.