The experience that orgasm comes when it wants (or not) is familiar to most women. That’s why here comes a plea for enjoyment instead of pressure to perform. This is better for you and love – and now it even has a name: Karezza (also known as Coitus reservatus).

However, this does mean above all that you don’t need the ejaculation of the man to have good sex. But even women don’t have to put themselves under the pressure to come either.

The two partners practically always come. Annoying, but normal, research confirms: Women come in a relationship about 80 percent of the time, singles about 70 percent, according to a study by the University of Indiana. This discrepancy is then called the “orgasm gap”.

Why do women often not have an orgasm?

There are many possible reasons for a lack of climax. One of the most important: Lack of stimulation. For many women, sex is the sub-optimal pathway to orgasm because the clitoris is not sufficiently stimulated.

But over-stimulation in the central nervous system can also be to blame: stress and distraction cause more trouble for women than men.

The male brain is designed to ward off all distractions – the female one not so much. Perhaps because only the orgasm of the man is necessary for reproduction?

What other reasons are there for orgasm problems?

Of course, the form of the day also plays a role. In addition, medications such as antidepressants, anxiety, neurological problems can also hinder the pleasure high.

Even the social claim that you also have to function in bed can be stressful: “Many feel stressed by the pressure of having to come,” says sexual physician Dr. Elia Bragagna from Vienna. “But achieving an orgasm and having to make an effort for it doesn’t fit together.”

According to Bragagna, 76 percent of women are happy in love and life, even if they don’t always experience a climax. Orgasm is a possibility, not a duty.

Of course, sometimes the man needs a helping hand too – so why not read our article about sex tips for men for some great ideas.

Can sex be better without an orgasm?

Simple answer: Yes, it can. And that’s when you’re more likely to get involved in the sex itself and not work too hard towards a goal. This also means: Don’t just consider “the one” as sex.

Many couples equate sex with penetration. With the result that everything else is degraded to “foreplay” before it goes on to the “real thing”.

For many women, manual and oral sex is the best way to the most intense arousal. “Men should accept that women are the expert for their lust.”

In addition, you should learn to appreciate the pleasure of each other in its entirety. Sex has intense moments even without orgasm, “such as the pleasure of intense closeness, the feeling of feeling the partner inside you, the fun of being birded, or the shudder when you look into each other’s eyes.”

That’s why it’s like on Instagram: Don’t miss the most wonderful moments while you make an effort to stage them perfectly!

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