Polyamorous relationships. Are they the same as polygamy?
Nowadays, more and more couples adopt the idea of a polyamorous relationship. But first of all what is polyamory?
Polyamory, a term that comes from the Ancient Greek “polu”, which means many, and from the Latin “amor” which means love, is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved.
People who identify as polyamorous are the people who believe in open relationships with a conscious management of jealousy and reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are prerequisites for deep, committed, long-term, loving relationships. Others prefer to restrict their sexual activity to only members of the group, a closed polyamorous relationship which is usually referred to as polyfidelity.
Some of the most common polyamory structures are:
Polyfidelity. This is where the partners in a group agree not to have sexual or romantic relationships with people who are not in the group.
Triad. This involves three people who are all dating one another, also called a throuple.
Quad. Similar to a triad, a quad is a relationship involving four people who are all dating one another.
Vee (or “V”). This is where one person is dating two different people, but those two people are not dating one another.
Polyamory has come to be an umbrella term for various forms of non-monogamous, multi-partner relationships, or non-exclusive sexual or romantic relationships. Its usage reflects the choices and philosophies of the individuals involved, but with recurring themes or values, such as love, intimacy, honesty, integrity, equality, communication, and commitment. It can also be distinguished from some other forms of ethical non-monogamy in that the relationships involved are loving intimate relationships, as opposed to purely sexual relationships.
The term polyamory first appeared in 1990, in an article called “A bouquet of Lovers” by Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart, as “poly-amorous”, the same word reappearing in 1992 Jennifer L. Wesp created the Usenet newsgroup alt.polyamory and the Oxford English Dictionary cites the proposal to create that group as the first verified appearance of the word. In 1999, Zell-Ravenheart was asked by the editor of the OED to provide a definition of the term, and she provided it for the UK version as “the practice, state or ability to have more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.”The words polyamory, polyamorous, and polyamorist were added to the OED in 2006.
When it comes to polyamoury values, polyamorists believe in trust, honesty, dignity, and respect, but also in very good communication and negotiation.
Some polyamorists view excessive restrictions on other deep relationships as less than desirable, as such restrictions can be used to replace trust with a framework of ownership and control. It is usually preferred or encouraged that a polyamorist strives to view their partners’ other significant others, often referred to as metamours or Osos in terms of the gain to their partners’ lives rather than a threat to their own. Therefore, jealousy and possessiveness are generally viewed not so much as something to avoid or structure the relationships around, but as responses that should be explored, understood, and resolved within each individual, with compersion as a goal. This is related to one of the types of polyamory, which is non-hierarchical, where “no one relationship is prioritized above the rest, and the fact that polyamorists insist on working through problems in their relationships “through open communication, patience, and honesty.”
Polyamorous marriages are not legal in many countries in the world, especially in the western countries, bigamy is prosecuted by the law. Several countries even prohibit people to live in polygamous relationships. This is the case in some states of the United States where the criminalization of a polygamous lifestyle originated as anti-Mormon laws, although they are rarely enforced. Polyamory, however, is on a continuum of family bonds that includes group marriage and it does not refer to bigamy as long as no claim to being married in formal legal terms is made.
What do you need to know before entering into a polyamorous relationship?
Before you get into a polyamorous relationship, it’s a good idea to take time to educate yourself on polyamory and non-monogamy.
This means that many of the challenges that are unique to polyamory — such as navigating time management or dealing with jealousy when meeting the partner of your partner — can be even more difficult to deal with. Many may feel alone or at a loss when it comes to dealing with these challenges. There are a lot of terminologies involved in polyamory, too. Words like “metamour” or “compersion” help people describe relationships and experiences that are unique to non-monogamy. This terminology might seem unnecessary, but it’s extremely useful for communicating with your partners. So, before you get into polyamory, it’s important to do a little research.
Metamour Day is celebrated every year on February 28. It celebrates the relationships people have with their metamours (partners’ other significant others, often referred to as metamours or OSOs. Polyamory Pride Day is celebrated every year on a day in Pride Month, polyamorists even participate in the parade sometimes.
International Solo Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on September 24. Solo polyamory is a type of polyamory in which an individual has or is comfortable with having multiple intimate (romantic or sexual) relationships without wanting to cohabit or “nest” with anyone partner, eschewing the “relationship escalator” which holds that relationships must follow a progression, or “escalator” from dating, to being exclusive, to becoming engaged, getting married and having children.
Polyamorous relationships are becoming increasingly common. And yet, many people falsely believe that polyamory never works, or that polyamorous relationships are “doomed” from the start.
In truth, it’s a relationship style that works for many people. As with all relationships, communication and respect is key to making it work.
Polyamorous relationships — like monogamous relationships — can be healthy and fulfilling, depending on the circumstances and behaviors of the people in them.
Lastly, whether you’re currently in a polyamorous relationship or not, you might benefit from connecting with polyamorous communities (online or offline). Making friends with like-minded people is a great way to learn more about polyamory and find support. Read more articles here
Whoreoween: Honoring Icons in Sex Worker Costumes
Whoreoween is an innovative twist on Halloween, offering sex workers a chance to step beyond the usual sexy nurse outfits and honor legends from their industry. This event serves as an opportunity to pay tribute to current and historical figures, bringing a sense of uniqueness and recognition to a community often overshadowed by stereotypes.
Dita von Teese, a modern burlesque icon, serves as a perfect inspiration. Known for her performances, Playboy appearances, and burlesque acts, she embodies the essence of a seductress. Her costume would include a classic 40s pageboy hairstyle, a sequined corset, opera gloves, statement earrings, and bright red lipstick, preferably in MAC’s Viva Glam I or Ruby Woo shades.
Marsha P. Johnson, a pivotal figure in the Stonewall uprising, is another inspirational figure. As a gay liberation activist, trans woman, and drag queen, she advocated for gay, trans, and sex worker rights. Her costume would feature a flower crown, 70s-style glamour with a slinky dress, faux or vintage fur, sequins, and bold jewelry, capturing her spirit and role in the gay rights movement.
Dee Dee Ramone, known for his role in the Ramones, also worked as a sex worker. His costume would reflect his classic punk style with tight vintage jeans, a DIY sleeveless t-shirt, and a leather jacket.
Ms. Mona Stangley, from “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,” portrayed by Dolly Parton, offers a Western-inspired look. The costume could include big hair, flouncy prairie dresses, or a satin corset with a sheer robe, embodying the spirit of the 80s Texas madam.
Zorita, a groundbreaking burlesque dancer, is known for her bold performances with snakes and a famous ‘half and half’ act. Her costume would include fishnet stockings, ruffled dresses, spangly heels, and possibly a tiara or two platinum streaks in the hair.
Tilly Devine and Kate Leigh, 1920s Sydney gangsters, provide a unique option for a doubles costume. Their outfits would reflect the era’s fashion, featuring heavy coats, top hats, or beaded headscarves, emphasizing their toughness.
Josephine Baker, an American-born dancer, actress, and WWII spy, offers a glamorous choice. Her costume could include glittery earrings, a beaded satin cocktail dress, and a classic 20s hairstyle. The famous Banana Dance outfit, featuring a pearl necklace and an artificial banana skirt, also represents her iconic status.
Lycoris the Mime, from ancient Rome, presents a historical option. Her costume would include traditional white robes, perhaps with floral headpieces, reflecting the mime artists’ role during the Floralia festival.
Lastly, Bettie Page, a 1950s pinup and fetish model, offers a vintage choice. Her costume might include a leopard-print leotard, sheer dress with faux fur, or classic black satin lingerie paired with shiny black heels.
Whoreoween provides a platform for sex workers to celebrate their history and culture, offering a way to honor icons who have made significant contributions to the industry and society.
2023 Celebrity Halloween Hits and Misses
As Halloween rolls around, the unveiling of celebrity costumes becomes a highly anticipated event, reflecting both triumphs and transgressions in fashion and fandom. 2023 proved no different, with an array of high-profile personas embracing the season’s spirit through an eclectic mix of costumes.
The celebrations of 2023 remind us that Halloween is not only a display of creativity but also a reflection of our times. It’s a balancing act between homage and originality, between respect for tradition and the thrill of innovation. This year’s array of costumes, from the star-studded to the minimalistic, confirms that celebrity Halloween looks will continue to be a pop culture spectacle, for better or for worse.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, whose stature often overshadows any character he attempts to portray, tried to channel soccer legend David Beckham with a ‘90s-era jersey and a blonde wig. Despite the effort, the familiar face of this wrestler-turned-actor was still the main highlight.
Keke Palmer brought a touch of narrative to her costume. The actress and singer, accompanied by her son Leo as a mini mad scientist, transformed into Frankenstein’s creature. This whimsical yet heartwarming costume was well-received, as Palmer humorously credited her son for giving her “LIFE,” a play on her role as a mother and Frankenstein’s creation.
Adele, the vocal powerhouse, took to the stage in Las Vegas, embodying the dark elegance of Morticia Addams. Her rendition was both fitting for the Queen of the Night and adored by her audience, capturing the gothic essence of the beloved character with a long black wig and striking nails.
However, not all costumes were met with applause. Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly’s “Kill Bill” ensemble sparked controversy. While visually striking, Fox’s decision to flout SAG-AFTRA guidelines amid an actor’s strike resulted in significant backlash, with some labeling her actions as insensitive.
Meanwhile, Austin Butler and Kaia Gerber paid homage to pop art and ‘60s fashion icons Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgwick. The couple’s costume, timely for Butler’s rising fame, was both a cultural throwback and a fitting tribute to Warhol’s enduring legacy.
Florence Pugh took a different route, embracing a more casual, last-minute look as a nod to Guy Fieri. The simplicity and relatability of her costume resonated with fans who appreciate a more spontaneous approach to Halloween.
Revolutionizing Desire: The Rise of FPOV Porn
In the realm of virtual reality (VR) adult entertainment, the concept of female point-of-view (FPOV) porn has sparked interest but remains underexplored. Content creators like Lee and Erika Lust have noted that many women seek a deeper connection than traditional porn provides, craving emotional resonance alongside physical stimulation. They suggest that the industry has not fully grasped or catered to female sexual preferences, which extend beyond mere visual cues to include psychological engagement.
One of the key players, Sex Like Real (SLR), has experimented with FPOV content, responding to specific requests from their audience. However, despite attempts to innovate with scenarios like the “boyfriend experience” and narratives of female empowerment, these ventures have not always been profitable. SLR’s findings indicate that the financial returns on FPOV content don’t yet match those of conventional porn, suggesting either a mismatch in content or a niche audience.
Only a small fraction of SLR’s user base identifies as female, which might indicate limited demand. Nonetheless, industry executives like David Chapman of SLR speculate that the true number of female users is underreported due to shared devices among couples. Chapman and his colleagues believe in the importance of catering to female viewers, not only for diversity but also because VR porn can provide a safe space for exploring sexuality.
The technological barrier presented by the high cost of VR equipment also contributes to the limited reach of FPOV porn. Not everyone can afford the gear necessary to enjoy such immersive experiences, as pointed out by Lust, who acknowledges the success of her VR film “360 Degrees of Lust,” though less than her other works.
The content itself has been critiqued for not fully capturing women’s diverse tastes. A superfan of FPOV, known as Super Smash Cache, has highlighted the industry’s narrow depiction of male attractiveness and the scarcity of content that appeals to her preferences. This suggests that a wider range of male portrayals might better satisfy the diverse desires of female viewers.
Conclusively, there is a consensus that while there is an audience for female-centric VR porn, the industry needs time to adapt. More women in development and production roles could catalyze this change, fostering content that resonates more deeply with female viewers. As the technology becomes more accessible and content more diverse, FPOV porn has the potential to redefine what is desirable in adult entertainment.