Polyamorous relationships. Are they the same as polygamy?

Nowadays, more and more couples adopt the idea of a polyamorous relationship. But first of all what is polyamory?

Polyamory, a term that comes from the Ancient Greek “polu”, which means many, and from the Latin “amor” which means love, is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved.

People who identify as polyamorous are the people who believe in open relationships with a conscious management of jealousy and reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are prerequisites for deep, committed, long-term, loving relationships. Others prefer to restrict their sexual activity to only members of the group, a closed polyamorous relationship which is usually referred to as polyfidelity.
Some of the most common polyamory structures are:
Polyfidelity. This is where the partners in a group agree not to have sexual or romantic relationships with people who are not in the group.
Triad. This involves three people who are all dating one another, also called a throuple.
Quad. Similar to a triad, a quad is a relationship involving four people who are all dating one another.
Vee (or “V”). This is where one person is dating two different people, but those two people are not dating one another.
Polyamory has come to be an umbrella term for various forms of non-monogamous, multi-partner relationships, or non-exclusive sexual or romantic relationships. Its usage reflects the choices and philosophies of the individuals involved, but with recurring themes or values, such as love, intimacy, honesty, integrity, equality, communication, and commitment. It can also be distinguished from some other forms of ethical non-monogamy in that the relationships involved are loving intimate relationships, as opposed to purely sexual relationships.

The term polyamory first appeared in 1990, in an article called “A bouquet of Lovers” by Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart, as “poly-amorous”, the same word reappearing in 1992 Jennifer L. Wesp created the Usenet newsgroup alt.polyamory and the Oxford English Dictionary cites the proposal to create that group as the first verified appearance of the word. In 1999, Zell-Ravenheart was asked by the editor of the OED to provide a definition of the term, and she provided it for the UK version as “the practice, state or ability to have more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.”The words polyamory, polyamorous, and polyamorist were added to the OED in 2006.

When it comes to polyamoury values, polyamorists believe in trust, honesty, dignity, and respect, but also in very good communication and negotiation.
Some polyamorists view excessive restrictions on other deep relationships as less than desirable, as such restrictions can be used to replace trust with a framework of ownership and control. It is usually preferred or encouraged that a polyamorist strives to view their partners’ other significant others, often referred to as metamours or Osos in terms of the gain to their partners’ lives rather than a threat to their own. Therefore, jealousy and possessiveness are generally viewed not so much as something to avoid or structure the relationships around, but as responses that should be explored, understood, and resolved within each individual, with compersion as a goal. This is related to one of the types of polyamory, which is non-hierarchical, where “no one relationship is prioritized above the rest, and the fact that polyamorists insist on working through problems in their relationships “through open communication, patience, and honesty.”

Polyamorous marriages are not legal in many countries in the world, especially in the western countries, bigamy is prosecuted by the law. Several countries even prohibit people to live in polygamous relationships. This is the case in some states of the United States where the criminalization of a polygamous lifestyle originated as anti-Mormon laws, although they are rarely enforced. Polyamory, however, is on a continuum of family bonds that includes group marriage and it does not refer to bigamy as long as no claim to being married in formal legal terms is made.
What do you need to know before entering into a polyamorous relationship?
Before you get into a polyamorous relationship, it’s a good idea to take time to educate yourself on polyamory and non-monogamy.
This means that many of the challenges that are unique to polyamory — such as navigating time management or dealing with jealousy when meeting the partner of your partner — can be even more difficult to deal with. Many may feel alone or at a loss when it comes to dealing with these challenges. There are a lot of terminologies involved in polyamory, too. Words like “metamour” or “compersion” help people describe relationships and experiences that are unique to non-monogamy. This terminology might seem unnecessary, but it’s extremely useful for communicating with your partners. So, before you get into polyamory, it’s important to do a little research.

Metamour Day is celebrated every year on February 28. It celebrates the relationships people have with their metamours (partners’ other significant others, often referred to as metamours or OSOs. Polyamory Pride Day is celebrated every year on a day in Pride Month, polyamorists even participate in the parade sometimes.
International Solo Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on September 24. Solo polyamory is a type of polyamory in which an individual has or is comfortable with having multiple intimate (romantic or sexual) relationships without wanting to cohabit or “nest” with anyone partner, eschewing the “relationship escalator” which holds that relationships must follow a progression, or “escalator” from dating, to being exclusive, to becoming engaged, getting married and having children.
Polyamorous relationships are becoming increasingly common. And yet, many people falsely believe that polyamory never works, or that polyamorous relationships are “doomed” from the start.
In truth, it’s a relationship style that works for many people. As with all relationships, communication and respect is key to making it work.
Polyamorous relationships — like monogamous relationships — can be healthy and fulfilling, depending on the circumstances and behaviors of the people in them.
Lastly, whether you’re currently in a polyamorous relationship or not, you might benefit from connecting with polyamorous communities (online or offline). Making friends with like-minded people is a great way to learn more about polyamory and find support. Read more articles here