Selfcare & Sexual Wellness

Do sexual Fantasies depend on gender?

Fantasies are sometimes (but not always!) a window into what people want to experience in their relationships or outside of them.

First of all, what are sexual fantasies?
A sexual fantasy or erotic fantasy is a mental image or a thought pattern that stirs a person’s sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal. The person’s imagination or memory can create a sexual fantasy. It may be triggered autonomously or by external stimulation such as erotic literature or pornography, a physical object, or sexual attraction to another person. Anything that may give rise to sexual arousal may also produce a sexual fantasy, and sexual arousal may, in turn, give rise to fantasies.

Spanish scientists have studied how some psychological variables such as erotophilia (positive attitude towards sexuality), sexual fantasies, and anxiety are related to sexual desire in human beings.
With a few valid and reliable instruments to evaluate sexual desire, the Spanish researchers have been forced to adapt by using the Sexual Desire Inventory by Spector, Carey, and Steinberg, which is a tool that enables the researcher to measure, on the one hand, the solitary sexual motivation and, on the other hand, the interest in having sexual intercourse with another person (didactic sexual desire).
This is a very important fact because “it gives relevant information about possible disagreements in sexual desire that may appear in a couple”.

So, do you think men fantasize about the same things as women?
Well, think twice!
The incidence of sexual fantasies is almost universal but varies by gender, age, sexual orientation, and society. In general, the most common fantasies for men and women are:
Reliving an exciting sexual experience.
Imagining sex with a current partner.
Imagining sex with a different partner.
And in the same time, the next most common fantasies involve oral sex, sex in a romantic location, sexual power or irresistibility, and rape.
Male fantasies tend to focus more on visual imagery and explicit anatomic detail. Men are more interested in visual sexual stimulation and fantasies about casual sex encounters, regardless of sexual orientation.
On the other hand, women’s fantasies tend to focus more on mental sexual stimulation and contain more emotion and connection. Thus, women are more likely to report romantic sexual fantasies high in intimacy and affection, for instance, associating their male partner with heroism and viewing them as chivalric rescuers. Evolutionary theory explains this finding, such that women may be likely to show commitment to their male partner in return for his investment of resources to help raise her offspring, thus increasing the offspring’s chance of survival.

Moving forward to the types of sexual fantasies, some of the frequently emerged patterns include men’s greater tendency to report sexual fantasies falling into the following categories: exploratory, intimate, impersonal, and sadomasochism.
Exploratory fantasies include those of homosexual encounters and group sex, while fantasies of watching others engage in sexual intercourse and fetishism are classed as impersonal sexual fantasies. Women are also likely to report fantasies involving a same-sex partner or those with a famous person. However, both sexes have been found to prefer intimate fantasies over the other three types outlined, including fantasies of oral sex and sex outdoors.
Sex differences have also been found regarding the Paraphilic sexual fantasies, which are those fantasies that are considered atypical, such as incest, sex with animals, and so on.
Even though the sexual fantasies defer by gender, there are still some common ones, more precisely 8:

Being dominated,
Having a threesome,
Having sex with another woman (in women’s cases),
Enjoying a romp in public,
Talking about your sex life with your friends,
Having sex with total strangers,
Having sex with someone you know that’s not your spouse,
Mixing pain with pleasure/BDSM and making love in a romantic place.

Finally, when describing gender and gender roles, it is essential to consider that gender roles are schemas of the self. Sexual fantasies and gender roles are relatively separate concepts that have little influence on one another. Read more articles here

Selfcare & Sexual Wellness

Legal to Sell, Illegal to Buy: The Paradox of France’s Prostitution Law

The European Court of Human Rights (ECtHR) on Thursday ruled that France’s criminalization of the sale and purchase of sexual acts/prostitution does not constitute a violation of Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR).

Case Overview

The case, M.A. and Others v France was ruled unanimously. 261 applicants complained against Law no. 2016-444 of 13 April 2016, which aimed at criminalizing prostitution in France. This law intended to “strengthen the fight against the prostitution system and provide support to prostituted individuals.” Applicants relied on Articles 2, 3, and 8 of the ECHR for their case. These individuals argued that criminalizing the purchase of sexual acts affects the physical and mental integrity of individuals who commonly participate in prostitution and violates their right to private life, personal autonomy, and sexual freedom.

Legal Reasoning

The Court judged the applicants’ complaint principally based on Article 8 ECHR, which refers to the right to respect for everyone’s private and family life. According to the official document, interference with this right is unacceptable except when done “in accordance with the law and as is necessary for a democratic society in the interests of national security, public safety or the economic well-being.” The French Government submitted that the aim of Law no. 2016-444 was “combatting prostitution rings and human-trafficking networks,” which the Court considered a legitimate aim within the meaning of Article 8 ECHR.

Ethical Considerations and International Consensus

During the judgment, the ECtHR also referred to the moral and ethical “sensitivity” of the problems linked with prostitution. It specified the lack of consensus among the European and international community on how to address prostitution correctly. Reem Alsalem, UN Special Rapporteur on violence against women and girls, in 2023, commented on French Law no. 2016-444. The Special Rapporteur argued in favor of the comprehensive approach taken by the law, stating:

“Far from ensuring access to the rights guaranteed by articles 2, 3, and 8 of the ECHR, the potential repeal of the criminalization of the purchase of sexual acts would further expose the most discriminated women and girls, who are the overwhelming majority in the sex trade, to the control, violence, and inhumane and degrading treatment of trafficking networks and sex buyers.”

Legal to Sell, Illegal to Buy

French law presents an unusual dynamic where it is legal to sell sex but illegal to buy it. This approach aims to reduce demand for prostitution while protecting those who may be forced into selling sex due to economic hardship or coercion. The logic is that by targeting buyers, the law reduces the market for prostitution, thereby decreasing the exploitation of vulnerable individuals.

Ongoing Debate

Despite this ruling, the criminalization of prostitution remains a heated debate with conflicting opinions. The ECtHR held that France had not overstepped its discretion and did not violate Article 8 of the Convention. However, it emphasized the duty of the French Government to constantly review its legislation and amend the law as European and international standards evolve on the matter.

Conclusion

The ruling underscores the complexity of addressing prostitution through legal means. While France’s approach aims to combat human trafficking and protect vulnerable individuals, it also faces criticism and demands for ongoing scrutiny and adjustment. The dichotomy of legalizing the sale but criminalizing the purchase of sex continues to be a contentious and ethically sensitive issue, reflecting broader global debates on the most effective and humane ways to handle prostitution.

Source: jurist.org

Selfcare & Sexual Wellness

Le Shaw teams up with Woodhull Freedom Foundation to champion sexual rights and freedom

Le Shaw, the International Sexual Health and Wellness Research Institute, is thrilled to announce its new collaboration with the Woodhull Freedom Foundation, an organization dedicated to advocating for sexual freedom as a fundamental human right. Named after suffragist Victoria Woodhull, the foundation focuses on challenging sexual repression and advocating for the rights and freedoms of all individuals.

Through this partnership, le Shaw will support Woodhull’s mission with its research capabilities and commitment to sex-positive principles. Their joint efforts will advance the dialogue around sexual rights, promote a culture of sexual liberation and human dignity, and help build a more equitable and informed society.

Bobbi Bidochka, Director of le Shaw, was excited to start working together: “The Woodhull Freedom Foundation’s commitment to sexual freedom resonates deeply with our mission at le Shaw. Together, we will work to dismantle the barriers of sexual repression and promote a more inclusive and respectful understanding of sexual rights as fundamental human rights.”

For more information about le Shaw and its partnership with the Woodhull Freedom Foundation, please contact bobbi.bidochka@byborgenterprises.com.

Latest News

Etsy Bans Adult Toys and Accessories

Etsy, the popular e-commerce platform, will no longer allow the sale of adult toys and sexual accessories. The company announced this policy change in a recent memo, sparking frustration and anger among its loyal vendors. Starting July 29, Etsy will remove listings for sex toys such as dildos, vibrators, and similar products, as well as items depicting sexual acts, genitalia, or sexually charged slogans related to familial relationships like “daddy” or “mommy.”

Alice Wu, head of Etsy’s trust and safety team, stated the policy was updated to “keep our users safe.” However, vendors have criticized the decision as “lazy” and a “crushing disappointment.”

“The ban will essentially close the doors of many handmade makers in the adult toy realm like ourselves,” said Preston Stevenson, an Etsy vendor, in an interview with The Guardian. For small shops like his, which have invested significant time on Etsy, the 30 days’ notice is insufficient to transition to a new platform with similar traffic and exposure.

Stevenson and his partner Laura Norden, who have been selling handmade sex toys since 2018, expressed concern that their site traffic will not recover if they move to another platform. “Bans like this one further the idea that sexual health and pleasure are taboo or something to be ashamed of,” he added. “It has broader impacts on society as a whole.”

Alexandra Houston, founder of the UK-based fetish apparel platform Charmskool, criticized Etsy for catering to the mass market instead of remaining loyal to its users. “Etsy wants anything creative as long as it is beige and middle of the road. It doesn’t want anything risqué anymore,” Houston told The Guardian, noting an increase in former Etsy vendors migrating to Charmskool.

Simply Elegant Glass, another affected vendor, penned an open letter to Etsy on Twitter, condemning the company for its “lazy solution” under the guise of community safety. “Protecting children from adult content is a noble interest, and we agree it should be pursued. But that’s not what you’re doing here, is it?” the vendor wrote, arguing that a blanket ban is an easy fix for non-compliance issues Etsy created. “It’s a solution that targets buyer retention and appeases investors and advertisers.”

The transition to other platforms is complicated by many payment processors’ refusal to work with vendors advertising adult toys. Anna, founder of Simply Elegant Glass, told the BBC she feels “betrayed” by Etsy’s new policies. “As creators who have helped make Etsy what it is and remained loyal for years, we feel betrayed,” she said, advocating for explicit labeling of sexual products rather than an outright ban.

According to Anna, a large portion of their profits came from Etsy sales, and moving to a new e-commerce site would be like starting from scratch. Other vendors echoed her concerns, worried that new platforms may not generate enough income.

“It’s like having your house burnt down,” Houston said, reflecting on the difficulties of establishing a new business presence after relying on Etsy for years.

This decision by Etsy is not only a business challenge for vendors but also raises questions about societal views on sexual health and pleasure. Many see the ban as a step backward, reinforcing outdated taboos and stigmas.
This decision by Etsy is not only a business challenge for vendors but also raises questions about societal views on sexual health and pleasure. Many see the ban as a step backward, reinforcing outdated taboos and stigmas.

Source: BBC