There was a time when the question was a simple ‘Male or Female’? Nowadays, the question has expanded to a whole paragraph, with many people not even understanding some descriptions on the page in front of them.
It comes back to that whole labelling obsession we now have. Society demands we label ourselves and each other and at times it’s difficult to recall which labels we have attached!
If (as a female who may occasionally partake in some female company) I must categorize my gender as no longer simply being ‘Female’, which option should I go for?
I could go the whole way and decide that I am ‘Gender Neutral’. Gender Neutral is a term invented by people who prefer that language, policies and social institutions avoid distinguishing roles according to someone’s sex or gender.
Almost 40% of the world’s population speaks a gender native language. This of course proves problematic for those against any kind of gender based societal practices.
In general terms, there are only 4 genders that apply to living and non-living objects, which are masculine, feminine, neuter and common.
Other more recent listings will have you believe that there are more than 50 different genders, including Androgynous, Bigender, Cis Female, Genderqueer, Non-binary, Pangender, Transexual and many more.
Why the need to produce type after type of different styles and types of being. I am (after all) a product of my parents, born a female and still acting to all intent and purposes, as a female. However, does my sexual activity mean I should be relabelled as bisexual?
The big question is whether it is the individual themselves who wish to be labelled or indeed invent the label, or is it others unable to accept someone outside of the norm, who are making up these labels on (what seems to be) a daily basis?
The Language of Gender
If you play sport, you may refer to yourself as a ‘Sportsman’ or ‘Sportswoman’. That definition allows other people to identify the individual as female or male. It doesn’t necessarily provide any political or social reasoning behind the person participating. If we all start using the term ‘Sportsperson’, doubts and questions are immediately at the forefront of our mind.
If it’s a footballer, those opposed to females playing footie will be desperately trying to ascertain if their interest is piqued or not. I personally dislike watching female footballers and cannot watch female boxers but to be honest, with boxing, which includes males also. I hate fighting – period! For similar reasons I dislike Rugby and Wrestling. Some men feel the same way. It’s nothing to do whether it is a female or male dominated sport. It’s the activity and general feeling behind the sport in question.
There is no denying that when someone excels in an activity normally undertaken by the opposite sex, people generally sit up and take note. Whether it is due to their physique being matched to the pursuit, or achieved through years of training, they are noted and celebrated as going against the norm.
Gender Neutrality and the Human Race
The incidence of individuals being born which are neither masculine or feminine is incredibly small and yet society has introduced any number of descriptions relating to someone who does not fit the typical mould.
The big question is, who requested those labels? Was it the individuals themselves, or those seeking to extract them from a generalised description?
Surely a world where we are all classed as individuals is paramount to allowing everyone to exist in a world of equality. We are (in the main) either male or female because of the chromosome that the male parent contributes. We are born and then grow with a straightforward set of biological structures, depending upon whether we are born male or female. Our parents tend to concentrate on supplying the care required, depending upon our sex.
Some people do not feel comfortable with their allotted gender and struggle from an early age to fit into a mould which doesn’t suit them. Instead of seeing these people as having problems, why do we not see them as simply not conforming to a nominal standard? Why can we not allow them to flourish as an individual human being?
We do not need to label or put them inside a box which conforms to a set standard. Looking beyond what society demands is surely the way forward. Allowing everyone the freedom to be whomever they want to be, at any time they want to be, is surely a better way forward.
Removing the stigma of labelling and anything which does not conform means we progress towards a greater understanding of others. Acceptance is the key to opening up a much bigger and brighter world for all.
Love Carla Sez x
Next toy generation: WOOD
It’s a thing!
Bioplastic toys are being reinvented, and everything is going green!
Until now, sex toys were largely made of plastic and silicone, some of them even having included in their components phthalates.
But not anymore! Sex toy companies are quickly readapting their product lines to respond to environmental issues, now offering their premium products in greener, recyclable, and sometimes even biodegradable materials.
In the lead-up to World Environment Day on June 5, why not choose a more natural accessory for helping you reach the height of pleasure?
Taking care of yourself care be seen in a positive way, but it can be seen even better if you do it in an environmentally friendly way.
Due to the pollution intensity, like other industries such as fashion and cosmetics, sex toy companies are rethinking their production models in order to reduce their impact on the environment.
Until now, erotic toys have been made on a large scale of plastic and silicone, and components have even included phthalates — those polluting materials and chemical compounds that can, on top of it all, be sources of allergies and other irritations. And that’s before we even talk about the batteries that need to be replaced regularly — or not — depending on the use of the toy.
Such observations have prompted many brands in this domain to reinvent themselves and unveil greener alternatives. Not content with offering safer devices since last fall thanks to the introduction of the first international standard dedicated to sex toys — ISO 3533 — manufacturers are also betting on materials that are much more respectful of the planet.
So what better way to respect our environment than to make wooden sex toys?
The idea may seem a bit scary, but in fact, wood is an ideal alternative to plastic when it comes to combining pleasure and sustainability.
And they have been made since 2010 by Thierry, a carpenter from Vosges, France, with wood from the famous forests of his region.
As weird as it may sound to you, this idea is a winner among the fans around the world. No chemical substances, no plastic, and definitely no battery: these sex toys allow users to reach pure bliss without harming the planet, and at a lower cost! Right now, you can find two different companies in France that make these green sex toys from local wood, and the prices are low at both of them.
There is another alternative to wood, since not everyone is comfortable using wooden erotic toys, and that is BIOPLASTIC, which the manufacturers find eco-friendly also.
And bioplastic, while some may not see it as such a green material, appears to be the most popular solution among industry players.
Womanizer is one of the brands in the news in recent months with the launch last year of its very first eco-friendly sex toy, Premium Eco. This pulsating air clitoral stimulator was designed from biodegradable Biolene, a material developed by the brand, composed of corn starch. And the intimate accessory can also be easily recycled since it can be completely dismantled.
Many other brands of adult accessories are now banking on bioplastics, such as Blush Novelties, which offers an eco-friendly version of its Gaia sex toy with Biofeel, a starch-based bioplastic that is both recyclable and biodegradable, or Natural Pleasure, which offers a vibrator made of recycled bio-sourced plastics, except for the motor, housed in a package made of recycled cardboard and paper.
Meanwhile, Ohhcean has worked on a whole range of sex toys made from plastic collected in the oceans. Help reach the ultimate pleasure while cleaning up the planet… Two birds with one stone, in short. In partnership with Tide Ocean (#tide), a company specialized in upcycling, the brand already offers three vibrating intimate accessories that provide pleasure without polluting Mother Nature.
Initiatives that prove that sexual bliss can be perfectly compatible with respect for the environment. A green revolution that probably most of the consumers are waiting for! Read more articles here
Do sexual Fantasies depend on gender?
Fantasies are sometimes (but not always!) a window into what people want to experience in their relationships or outside of them.
First of all, what are sexual fantasies?
A sexual fantasy or erotic fantasy is a mental image or a thought pattern that stirs a person’s sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal. The person’s imagination or memory can create a sexual fantasy. It may be triggered autonomously or by external stimulation such as erotic literature or pornography, a physical object, or sexual attraction to another person. Anything that may give rise to sexual arousal may also produce a sexual fantasy, and sexual arousal may, in turn, give rise to fantasies.
Spanish scientists have studied how some psychological variables such as erotophilia (positive attitude towards sexuality), sexual fantasies, and anxiety are related to sexual desire in human beings.
With a few valid and reliable instruments to evaluate sexual desire, the Spanish researchers have been forced to adapt by using the Sexual Desire Inventory by Spector, Carey, and Steinberg, which is a tool that enables the researcher to measure, on the one hand, the solitary sexual motivation and, on the other hand, the interest in having sexual intercourse with another person (didactic sexual desire).
This is a very important fact because “it gives relevant information about possible disagreements in sexual desire that may appear in a couple”.
So, do you think men fantasize about the same things as women?
Well, think twice!
The incidence of sexual fantasies is almost universal but varies by gender, age, sexual orientation, and society. In general, the most common fantasies for men and women are:
Reliving an exciting sexual experience.
Imagining sex with a current partner.
Imagining sex with a different partner.
And in the same time, the next most common fantasies involve oral sex, sex in a romantic location, sexual power or irresistibility, and rape.
Male fantasies tend to focus more on visual imagery and explicit anatomic detail. Men are more interested in visual sexual stimulation and fantasies about casual sex encounters, regardless of sexual orientation.
On the other hand, women’s fantasies tend to focus more on mental sexual stimulation and contain more emotion and connection. Thus, women are more likely to report romantic sexual fantasies high in intimacy and affection, for instance, associating their male partner with heroism and viewing them as chivalric rescuers. Evolutionary theory explains this finding, such that women may be likely to show commitment to their male partner in return for his investment of resources to help raise her offspring, thus increasing the offspring’s chance of survival.
Moving forward to the types of sexual fantasies, some of the frequently emerged patterns include men’s greater tendency to report sexual fantasies falling into the following categories: exploratory, intimate, impersonal, and sadomasochism.
Exploratory fantasies include those of homosexual encounters and group sex, while fantasies of watching others engage in sexual intercourse and fetishism are classed as impersonal sexual fantasies. Women are also likely to report fantasies involving a same-sex partner or those with a famous person. However, both sexes have been found to prefer intimate fantasies over the other three types outlined, including fantasies of oral sex and sex outdoors.
Sex differences have also been found regarding the Paraphilic sexual fantasies, which are those fantasies that are considered atypical, such as incest, sex with animals, and so on.
Even though the sexual fantasies defer by gender, there are still some common ones, more precisely 8:
Having a threesome,
Having sex with another woman (in women’s cases),
Enjoying a romp in public,
Talking about your sex life with your friends,
Having sex with total strangers,
Having sex with someone you know that’s not your spouse,
Mixing pain with pleasure/BDSM and making love in a romantic place.
Finally, when describing gender and gender roles, it is essential to consider that gender roles are schemas of the self. Sexual fantasies and gender roles are relatively separate concepts that have little influence on one another. Read more articles here
Is Sexual Wellness the next big thing in Self-Care?
Taking ownership of your sexuality doesn’t have to be a self-destructive experience but an empowering one.
We as women are often told to be more feminine, sexier, more agreeable, more of “this” or more of “that,” but never really asked what we wish for? We all agree that we need more of ourselves, more self-love, and more auto-discovery.
There is no shame in the self-love game! It is a gap about which nobody likes to talk. Also, speaking about sexuality is usually filtered down to a hush. However, it’s time to break down the barriers and get real. We need to shake off the stigma surrounding sexual wellness once and for all. Read full article here