Is Vanilla Really the Only Flavour?
Since man (and woman) first came to exist on this earth, not a single person is born with the same characteristics. Even identical twins tend to differ in personality, with often diverse and sometimes opposing personalities.
Studies have shown that men are attracted to a certain type of woman and that women are also drawn towards men with particular characteristics. However, these studies have also concluded that the reasons are mostly due to the biological needs of the human species.
In fact, almost every living species of plant or animal strives to ensure the future of their species continues. So, whether it’s about being the biggest, the brightest, the tallest or the smallest, diversity produces the variety that we see today. It also ensures that we survive, as a species and provides safeguards against a singular domination, by a specific type.
Diversity or Monotone Revenues?
In terms of sex, fantasy and the relatively simple notion of attraction, diversity is crucial. The issue may be that many of those producing the everyday imagery, concentrate solely on their own preferences.
If for example a survey suggests that 40% of the revenues produced by a service come from people seeking blondes with big breasts, does this mean that all your content should be of this genre? Of course not! Being diverse means catering for the many, rather for the few. The other 60% is actually made up of the majority and whilst it may involve more work in the short term, it brings huge dividends long term.
Daring to be Different
BBW, GND, MILF, PS, Asian, Short, Hirsute, Bald, HW, Lesbian, or Teen. Just one of a myriad of ‘labels’ we give to individuals to try and describe why we feel them to be different to something called ‘normal’. Of course ‘normal’ is always in the eye of the beholder. Everyone sees things differently and that includes how we look at other people.
Some may consider a size 12 model overweight; others think she is seductively curvy. Another may find a petite size 6 extremely attractive, whilst someone else calls her skinny.
Fashion does have a hand in all this, with the ever changing vision of what is supposedly ‘perfection’. The reality of course, is that we are all being fed images where someone else has made the decision as to what is the current ‘cream of the crop’.
Should advertisers be more responsible?
Sadly, with advertising at its most prominent, these impressions are readily available wherever we look and also to impressionable youngsters, who are way too young to understand the current marketing strategies.
We see girls as young as 5 wanting to copy the look of the latest female pop stars or influencers. They have already decided the body image they want to strive for and find it almost impossible to accept the body they have. By the time they reach their early teens, they are already struggling with mental health problems. Many feeling they have failed and are shunned by the rest of society.
Some may argue that parents should be more responsible for their children and restrict internet and TV access. However, these images are all around us and it would be very difficult to ensure their children were not subjected to this kind of imagery, day in and day out.
In fact, it would make much more sense if society as a whole were to accept responsibility for the upbringing of the future generations. Every generation should be accountable for the next one.
When reality is no longer real
Understanding that the things we see on the TV, in films and on the internet are often glorified versions of reality would help. When I was growing up, I understood that fairy tales were just stories and that pop stars were actually ordinary people underneath it all. However, fake news and pictures were very few and far between and therefore much more of what was seen could be taken for granted.
Empathy and even perhaps a simple reality check is required in all age groups. Understanding that the reality shows of today are about as far from reality as you could get, is difficult for many to grasp. Especially if it is something an individual has grown up with. I’m not even sure what ‘make believe’ means anymore.
How do we make things better?
Understanding that labels are different to tags is a starting point. A label puts an individual into a box which often has the lid very much closed. It doesn’t encourage people to grow or to flourish and denotes a static description.
Companies that appreciate and recognize the different characteristics are also the ones that show the most empathy to their workers. They do not work on an elitist level and are unlikely to promote divas or divos to the detriment of others.
In fact, this is how they find the real ‘stars’ of the show. They allow an individual to promote themselves as they are, recognizing that there are plenty of others out there who are interested. This is often how ‘Plain’ Jane and ‘Mediocre’ Robert get to top the charts in both popularity and earnings. They use their personality and real time characteristics to engage with their fans. People really do see more than just the front cover and discover that there are some truly beautiful and amazing people within.
So, the next time a ‘Jane’ or a ‘Robert’ apply to become the next influencer or model on your site, remember they do have a personality. More to the point, that personality is most likely what will make both them, and your company revenue.
Love Carla x
Next toy generation: WOOD
It’s a thing!
Bioplastic toys are being reinvented, and everything is going green!
Until now, sex toys were largely made of plastic and silicone, some of them even having included in their components phthalates.
But not anymore! Sex toy companies are quickly readapting their product lines to respond to environmental issues, now offering their premium products in greener, recyclable, and sometimes even biodegradable materials.
In the lead-up to World Environment Day on June 5, why not choose a more natural accessory for helping you reach the height of pleasure?
Taking care of yourself care be seen in a positive way, but it can be seen even better if you do it in an environmentally friendly way.
Due to the pollution intensity, like other industries such as fashion and cosmetics, sex toy companies are rethinking their production models in order to reduce their impact on the environment.
Until now, erotic toys have been made on a large scale of plastic and silicone, and components have even included phthalates — those polluting materials and chemical compounds that can, on top of it all, be sources of allergies and other irritations. And that’s before we even talk about the batteries that need to be replaced regularly — or not — depending on the use of the toy.
Such observations have prompted many brands in this domain to reinvent themselves and unveil greener alternatives. Not content with offering safer devices since last fall thanks to the introduction of the first international standard dedicated to sex toys — ISO 3533 — manufacturers are also betting on materials that are much more respectful of the planet.
So what better way to respect our environment than to make wooden sex toys?
The idea may seem a bit scary, but in fact, wood is an ideal alternative to plastic when it comes to combining pleasure and sustainability.
And they have been made since 2010 by Thierry, a carpenter from Vosges, France, with wood from the famous forests of his region.
As weird as it may sound to you, this idea is a winner among the fans around the world. No chemical substances, no plastic, and definitely no battery: these sex toys allow users to reach pure bliss without harming the planet, and at a lower cost! Right now, you can find two different companies in France that make these green sex toys from local wood, and the prices are low at both of them.
There is another alternative to wood, since not everyone is comfortable using wooden erotic toys, and that is BIOPLASTIC, which the manufacturers find eco-friendly also.
And bioplastic, while some may not see it as such a green material, appears to be the most popular solution among industry players.
Womanizer is one of the brands in the news in recent months with the launch last year of its very first eco-friendly sex toy, Premium Eco. This pulsating air clitoral stimulator was designed from biodegradable Biolene, a material developed by the brand, composed of corn starch. And the intimate accessory can also be easily recycled since it can be completely dismantled.
Many other brands of adult accessories are now banking on bioplastics, such as Blush Novelties, which offers an eco-friendly version of its Gaia sex toy with Biofeel, a starch-based bioplastic that is both recyclable and biodegradable, or Natural Pleasure, which offers a vibrator made of recycled bio-sourced plastics, except for the motor, housed in a package made of recycled cardboard and paper.
Meanwhile, Ohhcean has worked on a whole range of sex toys made from plastic collected in the oceans. Help reach the ultimate pleasure while cleaning up the planet… Two birds with one stone, in short. In partnership with Tide Ocean (#tide), a company specialized in upcycling, the brand already offers three vibrating intimate accessories that provide pleasure without polluting Mother Nature.
Initiatives that prove that sexual bliss can be perfectly compatible with respect for the environment. A green revolution that probably most of the consumers are waiting for! Read more articles here
Do sexual Fantasies depend on gender?
Fantasies are sometimes (but not always!) a window into what people want to experience in their relationships or outside of them.
First of all, what are sexual fantasies?
A sexual fantasy or erotic fantasy is a mental image or a thought pattern that stirs a person’s sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal. The person’s imagination or memory can create a sexual fantasy. It may be triggered autonomously or by external stimulation such as erotic literature or pornography, a physical object, or sexual attraction to another person. Anything that may give rise to sexual arousal may also produce a sexual fantasy, and sexual arousal may, in turn, give rise to fantasies.
Spanish scientists have studied how some psychological variables such as erotophilia (positive attitude towards sexuality), sexual fantasies, and anxiety are related to sexual desire in human beings.
With a few valid and reliable instruments to evaluate sexual desire, the Spanish researchers have been forced to adapt by using the Sexual Desire Inventory by Spector, Carey, and Steinberg, which is a tool that enables the researcher to measure, on the one hand, the solitary sexual motivation and, on the other hand, the interest in having sexual intercourse with another person (didactic sexual desire).
This is a very important fact because “it gives relevant information about possible disagreements in sexual desire that may appear in a couple”.
So, do you think men fantasize about the same things as women?
Well, think twice!
The incidence of sexual fantasies is almost universal but varies by gender, age, sexual orientation, and society. In general, the most common fantasies for men and women are:
Reliving an exciting sexual experience.
Imagining sex with a current partner.
Imagining sex with a different partner.
And in the same time, the next most common fantasies involve oral sex, sex in a romantic location, sexual power or irresistibility, and rape.
Male fantasies tend to focus more on visual imagery and explicit anatomic detail. Men are more interested in visual sexual stimulation and fantasies about casual sex encounters, regardless of sexual orientation.
On the other hand, women’s fantasies tend to focus more on mental sexual stimulation and contain more emotion and connection. Thus, women are more likely to report romantic sexual fantasies high in intimacy and affection, for instance, associating their male partner with heroism and viewing them as chivalric rescuers. Evolutionary theory explains this finding, such that women may be likely to show commitment to their male partner in return for his investment of resources to help raise her offspring, thus increasing the offspring’s chance of survival.
Moving forward to the types of sexual fantasies, some of the frequently emerged patterns include men’s greater tendency to report sexual fantasies falling into the following categories: exploratory, intimate, impersonal, and sadomasochism.
Exploratory fantasies include those of homosexual encounters and group sex, while fantasies of watching others engage in sexual intercourse and fetishism are classed as impersonal sexual fantasies. Women are also likely to report fantasies involving a same-sex partner or those with a famous person. However, both sexes have been found to prefer intimate fantasies over the other three types outlined, including fantasies of oral sex and sex outdoors.
Sex differences have also been found regarding the Paraphilic sexual fantasies, which are those fantasies that are considered atypical, such as incest, sex with animals, and so on.
Even though the sexual fantasies defer by gender, there are still some common ones, more precisely 8:
Having a threesome,
Having sex with another woman (in women’s cases),
Enjoying a romp in public,
Talking about your sex life with your friends,
Having sex with total strangers,
Having sex with someone you know that’s not your spouse,
Mixing pain with pleasure/BDSM and making love in a romantic place.
Finally, when describing gender and gender roles, it is essential to consider that gender roles are schemas of the self. Sexual fantasies and gender roles are relatively separate concepts that have little influence on one another. Read more articles here
Is Sexual Wellness the next big thing in Self-Care?
Taking ownership of your sexuality doesn’t have to be a self-destructive experience but an empowering one.
We as women are often told to be more feminine, sexier, more agreeable, more of “this” or more of “that,” but never really asked what we wish for? We all agree that we need more of ourselves, more self-love, and more auto-discovery.
There is no shame in the self-love game! It is a gap about which nobody likes to talk. Also, speaking about sexuality is usually filtered down to a hush. However, it’s time to break down the barriers and get real. We need to shake off the stigma surrounding sexual wellness once and for all. Read full article here