“Unfortunately, sex workers of all denominations have to deal with big business and big business is out to make big money. Every niche and every fetish has at some point been top of the pile as far as earnings are concerned. To this end, business, adult and sex workers alike, have sought to take advantage each and every single time.”
If you are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Queer you have most likely heard of Pride. In fact, Pride has been running for over 50 years now, which is somewhat longer than the LGBTQ banner has existed!
The Birth of Pride
Each year, in June, there are celebrations held world-wide, to honor the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan. Spontaneous demonstrations were held by members of the gay community in response to a police raid that began in the early hours of June 28th 1969, at a place called the Stonewall Inn, situated in Greenwich Village.
This uprising was most likely the tipping point for many Gay communities in the US and sparked the actions of the Gay Liberation Movement. Their protests covered many important social areas, such as discrimination towards housing and employment, government hostility and the centuries of abuse suffered by anyone non heterosexual.
The Importance of Pride
Over the years, it has grown into a worldwide symbol of what it really means to be gay. The celebrations attract millions to the parades, concerts, parties, work-shops and memorials, all around the world.
Memorials are held to commemorate those who have been lost to hate crimes or HIV/AIDS. The main purpose behind many of them, being to recognize the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals that have had an impact on history. Not just locally but nationally and internationally. It truly is one of the largest celebrations with support on a world-wide basis.
In 2019, New York (and the rest of the world), hosted the largest international Pride celebration in history. The Stonewall 50 – WorldPride NYC 2019, which was produced by Heritage of Pride, commemorated the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, with over five million attending in Manhattan alone.
Pride in the Adult Industry
Ever since white performer Hugh Hunter denounced his nomination in the ‘Best Ethnic Scene’ category, at the GayVN awards 2017, racism has been at the forefront. That’s not to say its existence prior to then was less important. In fact, some would say that it’s existed for decades.
There were complaints that the sex industry marketed racial fetishes and produced stereotype pornography.
Some even called it overt racism.
Let’s look at that a little more closely. What happens when almost every single thing in our lives is labelled? It means that every like or dislike becomes fodder for other people to complain about. Why should someone that is attracted to dark skin be dragged into a debate on racism. Sometimes, things are just as they are and it’s only others that seem to have a problem with it.
The majority of the Gay and Lesbian populous are more than happy in their own skin. They find themselves arguing for their cause with a lot of small-minded people. Perhaps I should call it the LGBTQ community, so as not to offend anyone who doesn’t belong to the Gay or Lesbian category.
Unfortunately, sex workers of all denominations have to deal with big business, and big business is out to make big money. Every niche and every fetish have at some point been top of the pile as far as earnings are concerned. To this end, business, adult and sex workers alike, have sought to take advantage each and every single time.
The pride in Pride
All being said, it is the responsibility of each, and every one of us to rid the industry and society of such prejudice. Everyone should be able to live their lives to the full and be whomever they want to be, providing it falls within the laws we create as a society. However, where those laws fall foul of basic human rights, we still need to question them.
I, for one, long for a world where we do not have a need for ‘labels’ as a means of describing some sort of fight against a portion of society. A world where I am simply who I am, and you are who you are. A world full of individuals able to live their lives as they please, lawfully and happily. So, can Pride really make that happen?
There have certainly been some big changes during the past 50 years and perhaps significantly during the past couple of decades. People are more open about themselves and the causes they support.
Social media has a huge impact on getting the message across. The more support we give to positive causes, the better everyone’s lives will be. The less attention we give to the haters, the quicker they will disintegrate into nothingness.
The thing we must all remember about haters is that they are fuelled by responses to their negativity. So instead of providing the fuel for them, channel your angst into positive causes.
Support is Key
Providing support on-line or in person is crucial, and has been even more important during the pandemic. Just being able to talk to someone can make a world of difference to those that are suffering.
Organizations such as Pineapple Support are there to pro
vide help for anyone that works in the Adult, On-Line sector. Whatever kind of support you may need, they have people available to listen, to help and to provide advice, whenever needed.
We’d love to hear about other organizations or help available to adult workers and especially those individuals who provide incredible aid, assistance and sponsorship for this sector. Drop us a line and let us know who we should be featuring, and we’ll do our best to make it happen. Read more articles here
Next toy generation: WOOD
It’s a thing!
Bioplastic toys are being reinvented, and everything is going green!
Until now, sex toys were largely made of plastic and silicone, some of them even having included in their components phthalates.
But not anymore! Sex toy companies are quickly readapting their product lines to respond to environmental issues, now offering their premium products in greener, recyclable, and sometimes even biodegradable materials.
In the lead-up to World Environment Day on June 5, why not choose a more natural accessory for helping you reach the height of pleasure?
Taking care of yourself care be seen in a positive way, but it can be seen even better if you do it in an environmentally friendly way.
Due to the pollution intensity, like other industries such as fashion and cosmetics, sex toy companies are rethinking their production models in order to reduce their impact on the environment.
Until now, erotic toys have been made on a large scale of plastic and silicone, and components have even included phthalates — those polluting materials and chemical compounds that can, on top of it all, be sources of allergies and other irritations. And that’s before we even talk about the batteries that need to be replaced regularly — or not — depending on the use of the toy.
Such observations have prompted many brands in this domain to reinvent themselves and unveil greener alternatives. Not content with offering safer devices since last fall thanks to the introduction of the first international standard dedicated to sex toys — ISO 3533 — manufacturers are also betting on materials that are much more respectful of the planet.
So what better way to respect our environment than to make wooden sex toys?
The idea may seem a bit scary, but in fact, wood is an ideal alternative to plastic when it comes to combining pleasure and sustainability.
And they have been made since 2010 by Thierry, a carpenter from Vosges, France, with wood from the famous forests of his region.
As weird as it may sound to you, this idea is a winner among the fans around the world. No chemical substances, no plastic, and definitely no battery: these sex toys allow users to reach pure bliss without harming the planet, and at a lower cost! Right now, you can find two different companies in France that make these green sex toys from local wood, and the prices are low at both of them.
There is another alternative to wood, since not everyone is comfortable using wooden erotic toys, and that is BIOPLASTIC, which the manufacturers find eco-friendly also.
And bioplastic, while some may not see it as such a green material, appears to be the most popular solution among industry players.
Womanizer is one of the brands in the news in recent months with the launch last year of its very first eco-friendly sex toy, Premium Eco. This pulsating air clitoral stimulator was designed from biodegradable Biolene, a material developed by the brand, composed of corn starch. And the intimate accessory can also be easily recycled since it can be completely dismantled.
Many other brands of adult accessories are now banking on bioplastics, such as Blush Novelties, which offers an eco-friendly version of its Gaia sex toy with Biofeel, a starch-based bioplastic that is both recyclable and biodegradable, or Natural Pleasure, which offers a vibrator made of recycled bio-sourced plastics, except for the motor, housed in a package made of recycled cardboard and paper.
Meanwhile, Ohhcean has worked on a whole range of sex toys made from plastic collected in the oceans. Help reach the ultimate pleasure while cleaning up the planet… Two birds with one stone, in short. In partnership with Tide Ocean (#tide), a company specialized in upcycling, the brand already offers three vibrating intimate accessories that provide pleasure without polluting Mother Nature.
Initiatives that prove that sexual bliss can be perfectly compatible with respect for the environment. A green revolution that probably most of the consumers are waiting for! Read more articles here
Do sexual Fantasies depend on gender?
Fantasies are sometimes (but not always!) a window into what people want to experience in their relationships or outside of them.
First of all, what are sexual fantasies?
A sexual fantasy or erotic fantasy is a mental image or a thought pattern that stirs a person’s sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal. The person’s imagination or memory can create a sexual fantasy. It may be triggered autonomously or by external stimulation such as erotic literature or pornography, a physical object, or sexual attraction to another person. Anything that may give rise to sexual arousal may also produce a sexual fantasy, and sexual arousal may, in turn, give rise to fantasies.
Spanish scientists have studied how some psychological variables such as erotophilia (positive attitude towards sexuality), sexual fantasies, and anxiety are related to sexual desire in human beings.
With a few valid and reliable instruments to evaluate sexual desire, the Spanish researchers have been forced to adapt by using the Sexual Desire Inventory by Spector, Carey, and Steinberg, which is a tool that enables the researcher to measure, on the one hand, the solitary sexual motivation and, on the other hand, the interest in having sexual intercourse with another person (didactic sexual desire).
This is a very important fact because “it gives relevant information about possible disagreements in sexual desire that may appear in a couple”.
So, do you think men fantasize about the same things as women?
Well, think twice!
The incidence of sexual fantasies is almost universal but varies by gender, age, sexual orientation, and society. In general, the most common fantasies for men and women are:
Reliving an exciting sexual experience.
Imagining sex with a current partner.
Imagining sex with a different partner.
And in the same time, the next most common fantasies involve oral sex, sex in a romantic location, sexual power or irresistibility, and rape.
Male fantasies tend to focus more on visual imagery and explicit anatomic detail. Men are more interested in visual sexual stimulation and fantasies about casual sex encounters, regardless of sexual orientation.
On the other hand, women’s fantasies tend to focus more on mental sexual stimulation and contain more emotion and connection. Thus, women are more likely to report romantic sexual fantasies high in intimacy and affection, for instance, associating their male partner with heroism and viewing them as chivalric rescuers. Evolutionary theory explains this finding, such that women may be likely to show commitment to their male partner in return for his investment of resources to help raise her offspring, thus increasing the offspring’s chance of survival.
Moving forward to the types of sexual fantasies, some of the frequently emerged patterns include men’s greater tendency to report sexual fantasies falling into the following categories: exploratory, intimate, impersonal, and sadomasochism.
Exploratory fantasies include those of homosexual encounters and group sex, while fantasies of watching others engage in sexual intercourse and fetishism are classed as impersonal sexual fantasies. Women are also likely to report fantasies involving a same-sex partner or those with a famous person. However, both sexes have been found to prefer intimate fantasies over the other three types outlined, including fantasies of oral sex and sex outdoors.
Sex differences have also been found regarding the Paraphilic sexual fantasies, which are those fantasies that are considered atypical, such as incest, sex with animals, and so on.
Even though the sexual fantasies defer by gender, there are still some common ones, more precisely 8:
Having a threesome,
Having sex with another woman (in women’s cases),
Enjoying a romp in public,
Talking about your sex life with your friends,
Having sex with total strangers,
Having sex with someone you know that’s not your spouse,
Mixing pain with pleasure/BDSM and making love in a romantic place.
Finally, when describing gender and gender roles, it is essential to consider that gender roles are schemas of the self. Sexual fantasies and gender roles are relatively separate concepts that have little influence on one another. Read more articles here
Is Sexual Wellness the next big thing in Self-Care?
Taking ownership of your sexuality doesn’t have to be a self-destructive experience but an empowering one.
We as women are often told to be more feminine, sexier, more agreeable, more of “this” or more of “that,” but never really asked what we wish for? We all agree that we need more of ourselves, more self-love, and more auto-discovery.
There is no shame in the self-love game! It is a gap about which nobody likes to talk. Also, speaking about sexuality is usually filtered down to a hush. However, it’s time to break down the barriers and get real. We need to shake off the stigma surrounding sexual wellness once and for all. Read full article here