Connect with us

Selfcare & Sexual Wellness

Is pride really so important for the adult industry?

“Unfortunately, sex workers of all denominations have to deal with big business and big business is out to make big money. Every niche and every fetish has at some point been top of the pile as far as earnings are concerned. To this end, business, adult and sex workers alike, have sought to take advantage each and every single time.”

If you are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Queer you have most likely heard of Pride. In fact, Pride has been running for over 50 years now, which is somewhat longer than the LGBTQ banner has existed!

The Birth of Pride
Each year, in June, there are celebrations held world-wide, to honor the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan. Spontaneous demonstrations were held by members of the gay community in response to a police raid that began in the early hours of June 28th 1969, at a place called the Stonewall Inn, situated in Greenwich Village.
This uprising was most likely the tipping point for many Gay communities in the US and sparked the actions of the Gay Liberation Movement. Their protests covered many important social areas, such as discrimination towards housing and employment, government hostility and the centuries of abuse suffered by anyone non heterosexual.

The Importance of Pride
Over the years, it has grown into a worldwide symbol of what it really means to be gay. The celebrations attract millions to the parades, concerts, parties, work-shops and memorials, all around the world.
Memorials are held to commemorate those who have been lost to hate crimes or HIV/AIDS. The main purpose behind many of them, being to recognize the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals that have had an impact on history. Not just locally but nationally and internationally. It truly is one of the largest celebrations with support on a world-wide basis.
In 2019, New York (and the rest of the world), hosted the largest international Pride celebration in history. The Stonewall 50 – WorldPride NYC 2019, which was produced by Heritage of Pride, commemorated the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, with over five million attending in Manhattan alone.

Pride in the Adult Industry
Ever since white performer Hugh Hunter denounced his nomination in the ‘Best Ethnic Scene’ category, at the GayVN awards 2017, racism has been at the forefront. That’s not to say its existence prior to then was less important. In fact, some would say that it’s existed for decades.
There were complaints that the sex industry marketed racial fetishes and produced stereotype pornography.
Some even called it overt racism.
Let’s look at that a little more closely. What happens when almost every single thing in our lives is labelled? It means that every like or dislike becomes fodder for other people to complain about. Why should someone that is attracted to dark skin be dragged into a debate on racism. Sometimes, things are just as they are and it’s only others that seem to have a problem with it.
The majority of the Gay and Lesbian populous are more than happy in their own skin. They find themselves arguing for their cause with a lot of small-minded people. Perhaps I should call it the LGBTQ community, so as not to offend anyone who doesn’t belong to the Gay or Lesbian category.
Unfortunately, sex workers of all denominations have to deal with big business, and big business is out to make big money. Every niche and every fetish have at some point been top of the pile as far as earnings are concerned. To this end, business, adult and sex workers alike, have sought to take advantage each and every single time.

The pride in Pride
All being said, it is the responsibility of each, and every one of us to rid the industry and society of such prejudice. Everyone should be able to live their lives to the full and be whomever they want to be, providing it falls within the laws we create as a society. However, where those laws fall foul of basic human rights, we still need to question them.
I, for one, long for a world where we do not have a need for ‘labels’ as a means of describing some sort of fight against a portion of society. A world where I am simply who I am, and you are who you are. A world full of individuals able to live their lives as they please, lawfully and happily. So, can Pride really make that happen?
There have certainly been some big changes during the past 50 years and perhaps significantly during the past couple of decades. People are more open about themselves and the causes they support.

Stopping Negativity
Social media has a huge impact on getting the message across. The more support we give to positive causes, the better everyone’s lives will be. The less attention we give to the haters, the quicker they will disintegrate into nothingness.
The thing we must all remember about haters is that they are fuelled by responses to their negativity. So instead of providing the fuel for them, channel your angst into positive causes.

Support is Key
Providing support on-line or in person is crucial, and has been even more important during the pandemic. Just being able to talk to someone can make a world of difference to those that are suffering.
Organizations such as Pineapple Support are there to pro
vide help for anyone that works in the Adult, On-Line sector. Whatever kind of support you may need, they have people available to listen, to help and to provide advice, whenever needed.
We’d love to hear about other organizations or help available to adult workers and especially those individuals who provide incredible aid, assistance and sponsorship for this sector. Drop us a line and let us know who we should be featuring, and we’ll do our best to make it happen. Read more articles here

Selfcare & Sexual Wellness

Ways to embrace your femininity and unleash your inner goddess

When stress levels get high and everyday life gets full, women tend to forget about themselves. And it is never an easy road to get the best version of yourself, and embodying that gorgeous, divine energy can be challenging. Embracing your femininity and connecting to your inner goddess energy is a way of feeling happier, healthier and sexier.
The good news is that there are some super simple steps you can take to rectify this type of imbalance and recalibrate your energy. And with this thing in mind, we invite you to be conscious of the following small tips.

You are more than a physical body
Close your eyes and let your other senses awaken as you focus on the beauty that is your gorgeous female body – your hips, the curve along your side body, the fullness of your breasts. Feel all of the parts of you that make you a woman. Fall in love with all of it and feel the intensity of your goddess energy.
Remember this exact feeling when you are clothed and feel like criticizing yourself for not being what a woman should be. You are everything a woman should be.

Engage in sacred sex
When your brain is going a mile a minute, and you’re constantly thinking about all the things you need to get done, or especially if you are a cam model, sex can therefore become something that’s done mechanically, and without thinking – like you’re on autopilot. Not exactly sexy, right?! Engaging in sacred sex can help you instantly get back in touch with your true feminine energy.This doesn’t have to mean doing something wild and crazy, although it absolutely can, if that’s cup of cake! But it can also be as simple as spending the night connecting with your partner over your meal, defusing some oils, playing some soft music, taking a bath together, having a spirited conversation, and then luxuriate in each other’s physical presence. Lose yourself in the ride! And if you currently don’t have a partner, start to explore your own body. Give yourself coconut oil breast massage, touch, look and explore your beautiful temple and get to know what you desire.

Reward yourself
Rewarding yourself from time to time is good, especially if you are immersing yourself in places, stories or experiences. Sometimes a get-away in your downtimes can help you connect to yourself, and find the best version of yourself. Other times a get-away comes as a well deserved planned holiday, which for sure will reset your mindset. One thing is sure, as long as you surround yourself with what you love and people that you love and love you back, your radiance will shine through.

Dress to impress… yourself!
When you look in your wardrobe, is black the predominant colour? Do you always reach for the darkest, most serious clothes? How about a change? Experiment with colour. Pick clothes not based on how trendy they are, but on how beautiful they make you feel while you’re wearing them. Mix fabrics and patterns, go for swirly, flowy dresses that will make you feel feminine and sexy.

Have an open heart
Living with an open heart means that one is vulnerable to hurt, disappointment, and rejection. Being open-hearted and fully receptive to others involves more than just saying, “I’m an open-hearted person.” It is necessary to get vulnerable, get real, and show gratitude.

We must be proud of our body and our ability to intuitively connect to everything surrounding us. Celebrate yourself by taking the time to connect and honour your body for all that it does for you! Read more articles here

Continue Reading

Selfcare & Sexual Wellness

Gender Specifics

There was a time when the question was a simple ‘Male or Female’? Nowadays, the question has expanded to a whole paragraph, with many people not even understanding some descriptions on the page in front of them.
It comes back to that whole labelling obsession we now have. Society demands we label ourselves and each other and at times it’s difficult to recall which labels we have attached!
If (as a female who may occasionally partake in some female company) I must categorize my gender as no longer simply being ‘Female’, which option should I go for?
I could go the whole way and decide that I am ‘Gender Neutral’. Gender Neutral is a term invented by people who prefer that language, policies and social institutions avoid distinguishing roles according to someone’s sex or gender.
Almost 40% of the world’s population speaks a gender native language. This of course proves problematic for those against any kind of gender based societal practices.

Gender Types
In general terms, there are only 4 genders that apply to living and non-living objects, which are masculine, feminine, neuter and common.
Other more recent listings will have you believe that there are more than 50 different genders, including Androgynous, Bigender, Cis Female, Genderqueer, Non-binary, Pangender, Transexual and many more.
Why the need to produce type after type of different styles and types of being. I am (after all) a product of my parents, born a female and still acting to all intent and purposes, as a female. However, does my sexual activity mean I should be relabelled as bisexual?
The big question is whether it is the individual themselves who wish to be labelled or indeed invent the label, or is it others unable to accept someone outside of the norm, who are making up these labels on (what seems to be) a daily basis?

The Language of Gender
If you play sport, you may refer to yourself as a ‘Sportsman’ or ‘Sportswoman’. That definition allows other people to identify the individual as female or male. It doesn’t necessarily provide any political or social reasoning behind the person participating. If we all start using the term ‘Sportsperson’, doubts and questions are immediately at the forefront of our mind.
If it’s a footballer, those opposed to females playing footie will be desperately trying to ascertain if their interest is piqued or not. I personally dislike watching female footballers and cannot watch female boxers but to be honest, with boxing, which includes males also. I hate fighting – period! For similar reasons I dislike Rugby and Wrestling. Some men feel the same way. It’s nothing to do whether it is a female or male dominated sport. It’s the activity and general feeling behind the sport in question.
There is no denying that when someone excels in an activity normally undertaken by the opposite sex, people generally sit up and take note. Whether it is due to their physique being matched to the pursuit, or achieved through years of training, they are noted and celebrated as going against the norm.

Gender Neutrality and the Human Race
The incidence of individuals being born which are neither masculine or feminine is incredibly small and yet society has introduced any number of descriptions relating to someone who does not fit the typical mould.
The big question is, who requested those labels? Was it the individuals themselves, or those seeking to extract them from a generalised description?
Surely a world where we are all classed as individuals is paramount to allowing everyone to exist in a world of equality. We are (in the main) either male or female because of the chromosome that the male parent contributes. We are born and then grow with a straightforward set of biological structures, depending upon whether we are born male or female. Our parents tend to concentrate on supplying the care required, depending upon our sex.

Acceptance
Some people do not feel comfortable with their allotted gender and struggle from an early age to fit into a mould which doesn’t suit them. Instead of seeing these people as having problems, why do we not see them as simply not conforming to a nominal standard? Why can we not allow them to flourish as an individual human being?
We do not need to label or put them inside a box which conforms to a set standard. Looking beyond what society demands is surely the way forward. Allowing everyone the freedom to be whomever they want to be, at any time they want to be, is surely a better way forward.

Removing the stigma of labelling and anything which does not conform means we progress towards a greater understanding of others. Acceptance is the key to opening up a much bigger and brighter world for all.

Love Carla Sez x

Read more articles here

Continue Reading

Selfcare & Sexual Wellness

Body image

Is Vanilla Really the Only Flavour?
Since man (and woman) first came to exist on this earth, not a single person is born with the same characteristics. Even identical twins tend to differ in personality, with often diverse and sometimes opposing personalities.
Studies have shown that men are attracted to a certain type of woman and that women are also drawn towards men with particular characteristics. However, these studies have also concluded that the reasons are mostly due to the biological needs of the human species.
In fact, almost every living species of plant or animal strives to ensure the future of their species continues. So, whether it’s about being the biggest, the brightest, the tallest or the smallest, diversity produces the variety that we see today. It also ensures that we survive, as a species and provides safeguards against a singular domination, by a specific type.
Diversity or Monotone Revenues?
In terms of sex, fantasy and the relatively simple notion of attraction, diversity is crucial. The issue may be that many of those producing the everyday imagery, concentrate solely on their own preferences.
If for example a survey suggests that 40% of the revenues produced by a service come from people seeking blondes with big breasts, does this mean that all your content should be of this genre? Of course not! Being diverse means catering for the many, rather for the few. The other 60% is actually made up of the majority and whilst it may involve more work in the short term, it brings huge dividends long term.

Daring to be Different
BBW, GND, MILF, PS, Asian, Short, Hirsute, Bald, HW, Lesbian, or Teen. Just one of a myriad of ‘labels’ we give to individuals to try and describe why we feel them to be different to something called ‘normal’. Of course ‘normal’ is always in the eye of the beholder. Everyone sees things differently and that includes how we look at other people.
Some may consider a size 12 model overweight; others think she is seductively curvy. Another may find a petite size 6 extremely attractive, whilst someone else calls her skinny.
Fashion does have a hand in all this, with the ever changing vision of what is supposedly ‘perfection’. The reality of course, is that we are all being fed images where someone else has made the decision as to what is the current ‘cream of the crop’.

Should advertisers be more responsible?
Sadly, with advertising at its most prominent, these impressions are readily available wherever we look and also to impressionable youngsters, who are way too young to understand the current marketing strategies.
We see girls as young as 5 wanting to copy the look of the latest female pop stars or influencers. They have already decided the body image they want to strive for and find it almost impossible to accept the body they have. By the time they reach their early teens, they are already struggling with mental health problems. Many feeling they have failed and are shunned by the rest of society.
Some may argue that parents should be more responsible for their children and restrict internet and TV access. However, these images are all around us and it would be very difficult to ensure their children were not subjected to this kind of imagery, day in and day out.
In fact, it would make much more sense if society as a whole were to accept responsibility for the upbringing of the future generations. Every generation should be accountable for the next one.
When reality is no longer real
Understanding that the things we see on the TV, in films and on the internet are often glorified versions of reality would help. When I was growing up, I understood that fairy tales were just stories and that pop stars were actually ordinary people underneath it all. However, fake news and pictures were very few and far between and therefore much more of what was seen could be taken for granted.
Empathy and even perhaps a simple reality check is required in all age groups. Understanding that the reality shows of today are about as far from reality as you could get, is difficult for many to grasp. Especially if it is something an individual has grown up with. I’m not even sure what ‘make believe’ means anymore.
How do we make things better?
Understanding that labels are different to tags is a starting point. A label puts an individual into a box which often has the lid very much closed. It doesn’t encourage people to grow or to flourish and denotes a static description.
Companies that appreciate and recognize the different characteristics are also the ones that show the most empathy to their workers. They do not work on an elitist level and are unlikely to promote divas or divos to the detriment of others.
In fact, this is how they find the real ‘stars’ of the show. They allow an individual to promote themselves as they are, recognizing that there are plenty of others out there who are interested. This is often how ‘Plain’ Jane and ‘Mediocre’ Robert get to top the charts in both popularity and earnings. They use their personality and real time characteristics to engage with their fans. People really do see more than just the front cover and discover that there are some truly beautiful and amazing people within.
So, the next time a ‘Jane’ or a ‘Robert’ apply to become the next influencer or model on your site, remember they do have a personality. More to the point, that personality is most likely what will make both them, and your company revenue.
Stay Safe
Love Carla x

Read more articles here

Continue Reading
Advertisement

Trending